Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Is it even possible

Is it even possible to feel bad if you are able to do what you want?
( and in worst case, if you know what you want, but you cant do it now, then it becomes a legit motivating goal to reach that thing, or you can always find an alternative to the thing which you want and deal with it after some time of grief )

I don't know, doesn't seem so right now.

If I think about it. All the things which used to stress me out, or still do, things which make me feel powerless or lose motivation etc. They all have one thing in common - I don't actually give a shit about them. I JUST DONT WANT TO DO THEM!!!!!!!!!!! WOWWWWW

ITS SO SIMPLE, YET, so hard to come to a real realization about it.

The previous list I made was still toooo PUSSIFIED, too NORMAL, too little ME in there.


UPDATES:

Exploration / sense of adventure/ excitement / new ideas / fresh inspiration / discovery / Satisfaction / fulfillment / purpose

1. Read "Think and grow rich"
2. Grab a notepad and go outside.
3. Organize / write on blog
4. Night walk

Joy / fun / self expression / focused on the moment / challenge

1. Warcraft 3 + wc3 related things ( commentary, replay recording, guide improvement )
2. Finish Rally xtreme + stream/video it. ( make a new blog page where I track progress )
3. League of Legends ( garen only, guide improvement )
4. Take a hot bath and lay down / go for a walk /  or take a cold shower ( variation LOL )
5. Work out in any way

Taking it easy / taking time to yourself / do nothing special at all / feel cozy

1.  Play "the longest journey"
2. Cook food and eat it in peace
3. Watch anime

Dealing with problems / issues / GHAY THINGS FUCK THIS SHIT AHHHHH

1. Look for a job and FIND ONE!!!
** extra motivation ** 
Why do this?
To pay off the debt, to be free, to be able to travel, to buy new PC gear and kick ass, to explore new possibilities in life, to save up for the future business, to help Julie and family if need to, to fund my own ideas, save up for that sweet ride, for that sweet vacation anywhere, for a fight stick to own all those nerds in street fighter, for a fucking dakimura LOL, for a expensive matress, for fabulous clothes and shoes, for plane tickets to anywhere in the world and GO OOUT THERE, to fund nerds like me in tough times, to feel like a part of society. It is all for the greater good
** extra motivation /end **

Companionship / friendship / connection with others

1. Talk and hang out with Julie !!!
2. meet with contempt

=============================================


With these slight updates the list is much better. Now when I look at ANY point in the list, I can actually imagine myself doing it and not feeling BAD LOL

( learning german, normal looking for work ~~ etc.... )

I JUST DONT CARE.. I WANNA DO OTHER STUFF. EARN THE PAPER AND START MY BUSINESS LATER IN LIFE AND PRACTICE FOR IT, WHILE PLAYING GAMES AND HANGING OUT WITH MY DEAR JULIE. FUCK EVERYTHING ELSE !!! SERIOUSLY SO SIMPLE!!!!!!!!!!!


This is fucking cool video. Skull girls is a fighting game, but this character can go into trumpet mode and they made a song together hahahha

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